What's Happening, Mallons?

What rolls down stairs, alone or in pairs? It's blog, blog, blog!

2010-10-02T21:58:00.011-07:00

The first four months with Sadie have gone by too quickly. With two kids, no daycare, and Darrick and I working full time, we've had a bit of difficulty keeping up the blog. Plus, all but two of you are on Facebook.

The more time went by, the more overwhelmed I felt with just how much I needed to post. So I have decided to just start where we are.

One of the reasons we wanted to have another baby is to give Alexander a playmate, not that there's any guarantee that they will get along, but they do seem to have taken a fancy to each other. For now, anyway. She's a particularly happy baby to begin with, but something about her brother brings out the giggles.

(Sorry about the video quality. We lost our camera battery charger, so for the time being, our phones are the only camera we have.)

Oh, and she's been saying "ma ma," but only when she cries. This made it tough to get a video because I want to pick her up instead of film her. I finally decided that it's probably worth the emotional scarring.

Sadie Elise Mallon World Premiere

2010-05-11T15:59:00.019-07:00

At 3:58 a.m. on May 19, 2010, Sadie Elise Mallon--9 lbs, 8 oz, 21 3/8 inches long--premiered at the UMC in Tucson, Arizona, to a VIP audience.

Critics are hailing her as the "feel-good baby" of the season and calling her debut a "tour de force" and "a rollercoaster ride of Oscar-worthy proportions."

Rumors are already circulating about Academy Award nominations for Sadie as Best Actress in a Lead Role and Darrick Mallon as Best Actor in a Supporting Role.

Executive producer Melanie Mallon refused to comment on Sadie's merchandising potential, although photo calendars, personalized coffee mugs, and a possible action figure are rumored to be in the works.

Three!

2010-02-06T19:35:00.011-07:00

Alexander turned three years old about a week ago. For dinner, we took him to Joe's Crab Shack. When the music and dancing started, he couldn't stay in his seat.

Then one of the servers showed him some moves.

We're pretty sure he got some digits. We caught him later with a Fisher Price Fake ID Kit, sporting a fake mustache that looked suspiciously like the patch of hair our cat is missing from his back.

When everyone in the restaurant sang Happy Birthday, he got to wear a cowboy hat and ride a horse head on a stick.

Then back home, we surprised him with a Clifford cake, which Darrick made. He drew the Clifford freehand! Alexander was obviously thrilled.

And he loved his gifts. It was the first birthday he seemed aware of what a birthday is, and he seemed to enjoy everything even more than we expected. Happy birthday, sweetheart!

Christmas at the Beach

2010-01-13T20:18:00.007-07:00

On Christmas Day,* after Darrick got home from work, Alexander opened his presents, including some cool cars from Aunt Christine and Uncle Jim (that would keep him entertained nearly the entire way to San Diego later that day). The Boy does have an issue with wanting to play with the toy he opens instead of opening the other presents, though. Wonder how long that will last?

We'd packed the day before, so after cleaning up the forensic evidence left by Santa, we were out the door, on our way to Loews Coronado Bay Resort for the weekend (thanks to the employee discount).

We spent our first morning walking around the bay, looking for shells, things to throw, and missing hands.

As soon as Nana and Papa arrived, we opened more gifts then headed out to the San Diego Wild Animal Park. It was quite the drive.

The carousel was definitely the highlight.

Alexander liked it too.

And the safari had its moments.

Well, OK, moment. It had its moment. But it was a great idea in theory, and at least we all got to be bored together. Nothing brings a family closer like synchronized yawning.

After Uncle Eric, Aunt Jené, and cousins Charlotte and Andrew got into town, they suggested we go out to La Jolla and check out the Seals. I gotta say, I was all for this idea. Finally a little something for the moms, am I right?

Yeah. These weren't the seals I'd hoped to be ogling, although I do admire those abs.

Alexander's seal impression was uncanny. I don't know what exactly he was saying to those creatures, but I'm pretty sure there was some kind of marine mammal coup fomenting by the time we left.

That evening, we had an awesome birthday dinner for Andrew and my mom at a restaurant on the bay. Alexander and Andrew were on the same frenetic wavelength, which was a mixture of hilarious and mortifying as these things usually are in restaurants.

The next day, before we had to head home, we all met up at Legoland, which is rather incredible. To see some of the amazing structures, check out the full set of photos we took. (If you're family, you can see the photos of the Bearse family too once you log in to Flickr. Let me know if I need to add you as a family member.)

Alexander and I enjoyed some paleontology.

Then Papa agreed to help Alexander fake his height so he could get on one of the rides.

Alexander received yet more gifts, this time from his aunt, uncle, and cousins. He is still obsessed with this robot.

And for the first time, Alexander got to see Santa! It was quite the impressive replica. He even had a little Lego flask and a soup kitchen ticket tucked into his suit.

We had a wonderful time seeing family, although we wish we could have made it a longer trip, and we're sorry we missed seeing friends while we were out there.

Next time, we're definitely spending more time at the ocean, which Alexander loved.

Provided the seals haven't taken over California by then.

*See, I'm only a month late blogging this time. Impressive, eh? I thought I'd prolong the Christmas spirit for you all. You're welcome.

It's a . . . babysitter

2010-01-06T17:09:00.006-07:00

I had the 5-month ultrasound today. The baby is very active, healthy as can be, and about a week ahead in development. Here's a shot of head, foot, and bottom.

We also found out the sex. I'll let Alexander tell you.

Personally, I'm relieved it will be a babysitter. We'll need all the help we can get.

13 weeks

2009-11-14T15:36:00.004-07:00

Here I am at 13 weeks pregnant, followed by a candid shot of the baby lazing about at 12 weeks, healthy as can be.

We don't find out the sex for another month or so, but judging from those skinny legs, I'm guessing that we're having a marionette. It's too soon to tell, of course, so don't start sending us felt clothes and lemon oil.

Mallons: The Lost Episodes, Part 2

2009-09-30T19:08:00.005-07:00

Well, now that October is upon us, I suppose I should wrap up the summer blogging.

Darrick celebrated Fourth of July over at the Brokaws. I had to work, so I stayed home with Alexander. Apparently, little Lauren Brokaw kept asking where Alexander was, so next time we'll have to bring him along. Next time we'll have to bring me along.

It looks like they all had a great time.

Although I hope the kids were in bed before the phallic fireworks show started.

Alexander did end up going over to hang out with Lauren. Always the gallant gentleman, he pulled her around in her ride and let her wear his hat.

In fact, it's safe to say that for Alexander, this summer was all about the ladies.

A high point for all of us was Aunt Christine and Uncle Jim's visit. We went to Bookman's, met cousins Tom, Em, and Brenna out at Red Rock, and hung out in our uncomfortable house, basking in the wonders of evaporative cooling in the middle of an unusually humid July.

Alexander got them to model the latest in collapsed tunnel neckwear.

And was rewarded with much tickling and play.

Return of Baby Mallon

2009-09-19T10:54:00.005-07:00

We interrupt the irregularly scheduled blogging to bring you this special announcement.

Since his premiere, Alexander has brought us thrills, chills, and lots of laughs and love.

We decided that he was so much fun, we would have to make a sequel someday. Well, guess what?

That's right, Baby Mallon Part 2 is in post-production, scheduled for release on May 17, 2010. (Initial screenings will be limited to the Tucson area.)

Mallons: The Lost Episodes, Part 1

2009-08-09T08:52:00.021-07:00

We've been busy this summer, so here is part 1 of our adventures staying at home, making everyone come to us.

Over Fourth of July weekend, Mom and Tom, known in certain elite circles as Nana and Papa, came to visit. There was much playing and interpretive dance. Even the dingo was at ease.

They came bearing gifts, like cars, a cool mat to play with them on, and some sweet shades.

And a Cars clock that lights up, which Alexander adores.

Word.

I'm pretty sure he feels his pad is almost complete. It needs some purple crayon on the walls, maybe, but otherwise, just right.

We spent some time at Reid Park, where Alexander gleefully stormed the jungle gym.

On Sunday, we went to Breaker's Water Park, and lo and behold! Uncle Ronnie and Aunt Linda from Georgia, and cousins Tom, Emily, and Brenna from Apache Junction just happened to be there at the same time. Look, here we are bumping into each other completely by coincidence after choosing the exact same place to stand. And someone who looked EXACTLY like my mom happened to snap a candid photo. Can you believe it?

We had a blast. It was really nice of them to drive down to meet us there. Brenna seemed to have a good time in the water and kicking back in the shade.

Alexander, it seems, really likes water parks. We'll definitely be taking him back.

Wait for it . . .

Coming soon (relatively), Alexander finds love, fireworks, and Aunt Christine and Uncle Jim's visit.

Emergency Room Mother's Day 40th Birthday Dance Party Week

2009-05-15T07:01:00.015-07:00

Alexander had his first trip to the emergency room last week. (Well, technically not his first trip--Emergency room, parks, climbing). While getting ready for bed, he was jumping around in his room and he slipped on a book, which sent him directly into the hard edge of the portable stereo on the floor. (Darrick described it to the nurse as a boom box, and she had no idea what he was talking about. "You know," he might as well have said. "A phonograph.")

Alex wanted to run around and play, despite the blood gushing from the gash in his left eyebrow. Unfortunately, we had rushed out without putting socks and shoes on him, so we were stuck trying to keep him happy in our arms, in the chair, and on the bed (once they admitted him to the back). After he managed to break this metal bar sticking up from the bed, we tried putting surgical gloves on his feet so he could walk around, but he wasn't pleased with these new socks. Next time (and I hate to admit it, but there will probably be a next time), I'm bringing the camera to the ER.

Because the gash was above the eye, the doctor was going to give Alexander stitches, but he debated using glue, so Darrick took that as an opening. "Are you sure you can't use glue?" He wasn't trying to rush the boy's care. When Darrick was Alex's age, he pulled his stitches out and had to go back in for new ones, and now he was worried that Alexander would do the same. The doctor agreed to the glue.

So Darrick and I held the poor kid down (I felt just awful doing this, thinking he must have felt so betrayed by both of us), and he got the numbing solution, then the glue, and then the tape to help hold it closed.

The injury has had no effect on the kid's energy level or his safety precautions:

(Yes, Rachel. There's that dingo again.)

He was doing fine on Mother's Day, so we all walked up to Bookmans, where we traded some magazines for books for me, a game for Darrick, and a stuffed iguana for Alexander. Thanks to Alex's kids' club membership and Bookmans' Mother's Day discount, we didn't end up paying a cent. We had lunch at the Golden Dragon, then headed home, where we collapsed after walking in the heat (upper 90s, perhaps over 100).

And as if that wasn't enough excitement for one week, the next day, we celebrated Darrick's 40th birthday. In the morning, Alexander and I walked over to Albertson's for cake mix and frosting, and I surprised Darrick by actually baking a cake for him. A real, adult-size devil's food with chocolate fudge frosting bundt cake. And it was good, still moist yesterday, after three days. I'm more surprised by this than he is. Of course, I did forget to take it off the cooling rack before frosting it, and when I tried to move it, I broke it in half, but that was nothing a little extra frosting wouldn't fix.

Alexander insisted on helping blow out the candle, so we relit it several times before Darrick managed to blow it out before the boy.

Then Darrick let Alexander have the candle. Until Alex started using it has a spoon to scoop up more frosting. Nice try, kid.

All the Over the Hill stuff at the party store was so dumb and clichéd that I went with the blinking lips instead. This turned out to be an excellent decision.

The next day, Alexander woke up early to wreak havoc on the play room, then dance among the debris. This is one boy who does not fear the apocalypse.

Please ignore the carpet. When Alex covered himself in Vaseline, he got it all over the carpet, and that just attracted dirt that we can't get out. At least it's just a remnant.

2009-05-02T17:40:00.002-07:00

What a week.

First, Alexander got glasses.

Then last Friday, I was one of a very few select adults honored to sit in the back of the room at Foster's sixteenth birthday party at the Doubletree. I put on a dress. And those shoes with stilts. I'm not even a trained circus performer.

And today, we went to the family and family friends party for Fos at Agua Caliente Park, which turned out to be one of the most beautiful parks in Tucson. Very lush. It has a hot spring (hence the name) that feeds a couple (more?) ponds with seriously big fish in them. The palm trees are numerous and huge.

Here's the birthday girl, just hanging out, being sixteen, while Ann ponders her granddaughter's sixteenness. Then there's Troy. So anyway . . .

Lots of people brought dogs, but Neosha was a true sweetie, patiently letting Alexander pet her, perhaps also pondering Foster's whole aura of XVI (fun fact: dogs think in roman numerals).

Alexander loved all the ducks. They were everywhere. I'm still shaking them out of my shoes. Worse than sand from the beach. Geesh.

But more than ducks, the boy loves water.

I mean, he really loves water. We pretty much spent the entire time running after him to pull him away from the water. He managed to jump in a few times. So next time, we'll come dressed for him (and us) to go into the water a little farther. I really wanted to just let him go, but I wasn't dressed to go in with him, and we weren't sure about the water depth.

The true mark of a good time: pure exhaustion.

Mogo

2009-04-05T20:00:00.007-07:00

Alexander loves water. He calls it mogo.

No. I mean he really loves water.

It makes him want to dance.

If he doesn't have water, he'll imagine it.

It's eerie how well he imitates the way I water the rug and his dad waters the drains and the cats.

When life gives you Mount Lemmon

2009-03-04T18:02:00.010-07:00

The weekend before last (or a few days ago in Melanie Standard Blogging Time), we spent Saturday picnicking on Mount Lemmon with friends.

The site was beautiful, with a great view

and, to Alexander's delight, a little creek.

Some disembodied snowman parts were scattered about despite the sun. Ben, Alexander, and Darrick attempted artificial limb procedures with minimal success.

Alexander remembered his notebook, of course. He carries a notebook everywhere these days. He fills them with drawings (Daddy, puppy, eyes) and the letter O. The pages with scribbles are likely code for his plans and ideas regarding snacks; things to put on his head, in his mouth, or both; and world domination using an army of dogs.

We ate, drank, ran around, poked sticks in things, threw and kicked a ball around, and threw things at each other.

Alexander and Lauren experienced the customary game of pass the child.

But I was glad to get my little guy back.

The older girls climbed as far as possible from the rest of us freaks, no doubt talking about electrical engineering or whatever the kids are into these days.

Trees and nuts

2009-02-19T07:51:00.008-07:00

We bought some fruit trees for our backyard. There's a little nursery next to our vet with very reasonable prices. An old German guy who got his degree in philosophy from Texas A&M runs it.

We bought a peach tree

And a pear tree

And an apple:

After helping his dad plant the trees, Alexander celebrated. He's got this weird thing with putting objects on his head: buckets, lampshades, various articles of clothing that have one thing in common: they aren't hats.

Then he spent some time using the sink for his workout. He's getting buff.

Yes, lamest blog ever. After the armpit entry, I figured I could phone this one in and it would still be an improvement.

Hair of the Blog Contest

2009-02-12T16:47:00.017-07:00

Those of you with weak stomachs or simply a smidgen of class, please turn away. Read no further. Look no further.

Seriously, stop scrolling unless you are truly prepared for the big hairy monster at the end of this blog. Do you need a warning from Grover?

Fine. It's your choice. But my lawyers insist on a disclaimer:

I cannot be held responsible for any nightmares, psychotic breaks, projectile vomiting, compulsive shaving of strangers, or complete loss of respect for me that may ensue after you see the following graphic images.

OK, let me begin with the backstory. Rachel decided to have a little contest. See the full description and rules here.

Participants chose a body part to enter, removed the hair completely from said body part, then proceeded to let hair grow unhampered, wild, and free for the next three weeks. We were to provide weekly updates on our blogs or send our photos to Rachel. I opted for the latter because I knew I wouldn't have time to blog on it as required. Actually, I realized that if I managed to blog about my hair growth every week, you all might expect me to blog about Alexander that frequently. I just couldn't risk setting the bar that high. I've got work to do (on Facebook).

Anyway, I did promise to blog at the end of the contest, which is tomorrow, so here, for your viewing disgust and dismay, is my entry in the Hair of the Blog contest, starting with week 1.

I call it Chia Pit.

My first photo:

After a week, I was a bit worried. How could I compete with the sasquatches that had entered this contest? No offense, ladies (and Rachel).

(Yes, he had a nose job during that first week. He's kind of sensitive about it, so please keep your comments to yourself.)

By week two, I realized I needed to do something to coax more hair out. I tried a drip irrigation system, fertilizer, Rogaine, a snake charmer, and I even considered applying a hairpiece:

And now, after three weeks, I can actually see enough to tie in a knot. If I had really small fingers.

Now I know what you're thinking (if you are not too stunned by this inanity to think): I don't stand a chance. My hair growth is paltry. Most of you probably had babies born with more hair than this. I am, in fact, eating a peach at this very moment that sports more growth than my poor, sparse pit. To win this contest, I would need to somehow convince everyone that they do indeed see, in my pit, something like this:

But here's the thing: The contest winner is the one who gets the most VOTES. There will be no official data collection, no measurement of hair, no shave-and-weigh. All I need to do to win is convince all of you (and by extension, everyone you know who has a strong stomach) to vote for me.

So, tomorrow or over the weekend, please go to Rachel's blog and vote for me and my Chia Pit.

A vote for me is a vote for the underdog. And the underarm. Really, you just can't go wrong. Except that I shouldn't win. Really. I mean, go look at the Cousin Its in this contest. Then vote for me anyway.

Partay

2009-02-08T10:38:00.003-07:00

We finally had a party for Alexander's second birthday. First, we had to get the swingset built ("we" meaning Darrick):

Then on Saturday, everyone came over to celebrate with us. We played outside and then had Alexander's favorite food: spaghetti from Tony's deli!

Darrick and I made an Elmo cake. He ended up baking it while I fixed our Internet connection, then I tinted the icing and frosted the cake.

Then Alexander opened his awesome presents and the kids ran around like maniacs while the adults had beer, then espresso, then second dessert: cannoli from Tony's. If you don't leave bloated, it's not a good party, right?

Alexander rides into his second birthday

2009-01-30T20:35:00.005-07:00

Alexander's birthday was Thursday. We spent the day making age jokes and reminiscing about his youth.

His birthday this year is really more of a collection of days related to his birthday. Darrick is building a swing set this week, so we're planning to celebrate once that's up, next Saturday. It's a little late, February and all, but we have to take advantage of Alexander being calendrically challenged while we still can. (He's still stuck on the switch from Julian to Gregorian. Phht. Babies.)

I'm even going to bake a cake.

Just thought I'd give you time to let that sink in.

And Alexander's birthday celebration began a couple of weeks before his birthday. He got a sweet Yo Gabba Gabba coloring book with crayons from the Bearse family. He LOVES it. And this was his expression when he first saw Nana and Papa's gift for him.

He approached it cautiously, as he should approach any horse. Especially one on skis.

But once he was on, he couldn't stop smiling:

And for those of you who were thinking our boy might be retarded because he hadn't talked yet (you know who you are--I found the online pool), well, he has started talking up a storm.

Witness his new favorite phrase:

December Shenanigans

2009-01-11T18:57:00.013-07:00

A lot happened in December. We went to Minnesota, where Darrick's sister, Dawn, and her husband, Joe, took us in off the cold, cold streets. We were there for two storms, one that closed down 94 from Alexandria to Fargo, as well as some record-breaking cold days. On the way to Christine and Jim's wedding, we did a 180 in the rental car, actually ending up in the same lane, just facing the car behind us. (Yes, I was driving.)

Grandpa and Grandma Mallon came down to visit, and later in the week, we braved the trip up to Alexandria, where Alexander got his first pair of snowpants and went out to play in the snow. We forgot our camera on that trip, so we'll have to wait to post the photos they send us from one of those antique cameras that hold film.

We visited with all kinds of Bearses: Grandpa and Grandma, and Alexander's Uncle Eric and Aunt Jené, and his cousins Charlotte and Andrew. Plus, we saw Uncle Greg and Aunt Jeannie and cousin Randi among many others when we celebrated Christmas. Grandpa took the kids for a sleigh ride around the backyard. (Yes, that's a plastic storage lid with a rope tied to it.)

We met up with various friends throughout our stay, for pizza, beer, wild animal rides. The usual.

Near the end of our stay, after not napping for most of the trip, Alexander experienced the effects of sleep deprivation on his mood.

But he had a good time at the rehearsal dinner, entertaining folks with his beat boxing and general hamming.

He cried throughout Jim and Christine's wedding, which was beautiful, so I don't blame him. I got a little weepy myself. Look at my beautiful sister. Just look at her. Go on.

Too bad Darrick missed most of it. He spent the entire ceremony holding Alexander out in the foyer. But the boy got a second wind at the reception and danced the night away. Yes, that's a twenty-dollar bill he's holding. My brother Joe lent it to him to play with. Uncle Joe's sense of age-appropriate toys is uncanny.

After we got home to 70-degree Tucson, we had yet another Christmas. Alexander opened gifts from us (Jeep Big Wheel and Spiderman punching bag) and from Nana and Papa.

Thanksgiving

2008-12-09T20:01:00.002-07:00

Don't act surprised. You know we are on a delayed posting schedule. Busy getting ready for Christine's wedding and Christmas, so once again, the photo blog extravaganza! Alexander had fun with Brenna (and Brenna's awesome toys). And we all had a great time catching up with Tom and Emily, Uncle Ronnie and Aunt Linda, and Nana and Papa.

Alexander's First Time Trick-or-Treating

2008-11-01T13:09:00.002-07:00

The evening began at the Brokaws, where Alexander played with Elmo,

and Lauren.

Then the kids got into their costumes and scared the candy out of the neighbors. No one wanted to make the Hulk angry or get stung by the menacing bee.

2008-10-26T11:11:00.002-07:00

Well, I don't have much for you today, just a video of interest only to grandparents, probably. The artist at work.

We've been busy with work, being sick (again), backs going out, etc. I've also discovered Facebook, and guess what, it's not just for 14-year-old girls and the middle-aged men who love them. Who knew? So I'm spending a little too much time on that site lately, neglecting the old blog.

We've managed to take some photos. He's putting on some sunscreen, then fretting over his tattoo, thinking maybe if he'd gone with the "I heart Mom" tat I would have dressed him for once. (In my defense, we have no A/C.)

2008-09-29T20:59:00.005-07:00

On Saturday mornings, Darrick and I take Alexander to a Parks and Rec class called Little Movers and Shakers. It's in a gymnastics room with lots of different kinds of mats (including tunnel mats), balance beams, springboards, and so on. We do some group activities, stretching, pretending to be bears, hopping, playing with the parachute, and singing songs, but much of the time, he just bounces around like a pinball, there's so much to see and do, especially during toy-and-ball free-for-all. Last Saturday, this was pretty much his demeanor the whole time.

He sampled the stuffed fish:

Demonstrated his gymnastics skills for the ladies:

Showed random people his tongue:

Commanded bubbles to pop:

And exhausted himself.

It was a good time.

Tunnel Vision

2008-09-27T19:44:00.003-07:00

A series of quick movies (our camera doesn't take more than 30 seconds at a time) of Alexander dancing to his little drum set's beats and scratching, then playing in his tunnel. Sorry these are so dark.

In at least one, I'm clearly pressuring the boy to dance, but only because I started taking the photos when Alexander was dancing his fool head off. Once I started filming, of course, he pretty much lost interest in dancing.

And yet another attempt to catch him in the act dancing. Yes, a tornado did hit the room.

And Darrick taught him to blow a kiss:

We also have some photos from the Parks and Rec class we take him to, so I'll have those up tomorrow, maybe.

Random Alexander

2008-08-20T15:53:00.003-07:00

Alexander loves playing with CD players, VCRs (yes, we still have one of these relics--a couple, actually), DVD players, radios, microwaves, and clocks. In our bedroom, we have old VHS tapes with movies taped off cable years ago. He likes to put these tapes in the VCR and start them. The TV isn't on, so they don't really "play," but sometimes at night I'll wake up to the sound of the tape rewinding after playing for 8 hours.

In his room, we have no closet door, so we put up a baby gate to keep him from pulling the CD player on top of him. Well, he didn't take long to figure out how to climb it so he can perch on top and mess with the CD player. It's an old-style gate that probably isn't made anymore because it's obviously easy to climb (lots of little holes for little toes). Anyway, the other night while we were getting him ready for bed, we put on a CD with mostly slow songs. He proceeded to climb the gate and actually switch that CD for another one (switching, closing the top, and hitting play), a mixed CD I made for mornings. The first song is "Rock Around the Clock."

I think he was trying to tell us something about bedtime.

He's also been exploring his artistic side. He loves to color. It's crazy how into it he gets.

Here, he seems to be lamenting the temporary loss of his muse. Drama queen.

And last Friday, he charmed the hell out of the firefighters at the park. They were there playing soccer. We run into them occasionally because they go to play games, exercise, and test their equipment using the hydrant. One week, they tested the hose from the top of the ladder, power spraying the whole park. It was so cool. Anyway, last Friday, they suggested we come by on Saturday (the station is right behind our house), because they pull all the trucks out of the garage and test the ladder. So we headed over. Alexander didn't care for sitting in the truck, but he loved splashing in the puddles created from washing the trucks, and he really enjoyed looking at the enormous tires.

New Bedtime Routine

2008-08-02T09:05:00.004-07:00

The boy has started a new bedtime routine. He takes every book off his shelf, every toy in his room, every scrap of paper, and bit by bit, puts it all in his crib. He gives us a few books for us to read to him, but the rest goes into the crib. Then we read until he falls asleep, and we quietly take everything out of the crib and put him down. He's very serious about this routine. We've tried blocking him with our bodies to see if he'd give up because it's too difficult, but he scales us with his books. Determined and very weird.

Grandpa Ed

2008-07-27T16:43:00.002-07:00

My dad came for a long weekend visit, so of course we had to go to the park.

We also spent a very hot afternoon at Traildust Town, which apparently doesn't open until the evening, although the town itself is open before the restaurants and shops, so Alexander had a blast exploring and making some money telling fortunes, all along the lines of "momma daddy booka cheetah kitty dog" or, more likely, a simple "ga." And eerily, all his predictions came true!

We're not sure if this guy works here or if he just likes to dress up like a cowboy and walk his dog here, but he was a nice fellow anyway, and Alexander loved his dog.

Before leaving, Alexander did the obligatory posing:

As always, more photos on our flickr site: http://www.flickr.com/photos/mallons/

Zoo!

2008-07-27T16:18:00.005-07:00

A couple of weeks ago, Darrick took some vacation days so that I could get full days of work in. On one of those days, he took Alexander to the zoo.

Here he is admiring his gorilla cup.

And appreciating the giraffe's unique take on snack time.

Having his own snack nonchalantly, while mere feet from the rhino.

Enjoying the zoo's water area (this is a blogger video instead of a google video--does it show up better for you all?):

We have lots more zoo pictures and other photos on http://www.flickr.com/photos/mallons/

Parks and Puddles

2008-07-27T16:05:00.002-07:00

Alexander has had some good times at the park, sometimes with his friend Lauren, sometimes with his dad, sometimes with his mom, sometimes when he sneaks out at night on secret park missions.

He's even gone hiking.

And, ahem, swimming(?)

Happy Independence Day!

2008-07-27T14:56:00.004-07:00

OK, so I'm a wee bit behind on the posts. On top of the usual work marathon, I took on an extra book from a new, prestigious client. I didn't want to turn down the opportunity because I might not have gotten another call, not until I could prove my work, which I did. Woo hoo! So now I'm catching up on the blogging, and rather than doing one long super post, I'll inundate you with several shorter ones, beginning with our Fourth of July fun at the Brokaws. This was the last day off I had until today.

Adventures in Babyproofing

2008-06-08T18:26:00.005-07:00

Alexander takes babyproofing as a challenge. He easily figured out how to pull the outlet covers from the sockets. He brings them to us, beaming.

He's also figured out how to move chairs around so he can climb on tables, open drawers in the kitchen, and pull the coffee pot from the coffee maker (fortunately a cold pot we hadn't emptied yet). I'm sure you'll agree that the coffee really adds a certain something to the decor:

You might have also noticed how well the cabinet lock has worked for us. Here's a closer look at how Alexander is working his away around that little babyproofing device:

Oh, and here's what's left of the device that was supposed to keep him from opening the oven door:

Now, I know what you're thinking: Keep this kid out of the kitchen, right? And it just so happens that we have a big gate to keep him in the family room. Well, we had a big gate. First he tore it from the wall.

Then he actually broke the gate itself:

I'm thinking maybe we contact the manufacturer about this one. Seems to me, a baby just shouldn't be able to break their gate, am I right? Pulling it out of the wall, well, that's probably faulty mounting. The wall is concrete, and that's surprisingly difficult to mount into, and so enough persistent shaking of the gate eventually crumbled the concrete. In retrospect, we can see a better way to mount it, but that doesn't help much now.

I finally figured out a way to babyproof the laptop, to make it so he could press all the keys and they wouldn't do anything but make funny noises. So we let him at it one day:

The problem, of course, is that I couldn't lock the touchpad and its buttons as well as the keys. So I come back in the room to find him opening Microsoft Outlook, checking my business e-mail. Apparently, he even sent a chat message to our friend Jennifer.

So what can we do but keep him busy? While Darrick fixed dinner, he kept him occupied with stirring the juice. Alexander took the task quite seriously.

We can also get some peace while he plays endlessly with the water dispenser on the fridge. Here, he's mighty thirsty after shooting an episode of COPS.

Oh, and we put the piano bench in my office because he was using it to climb onto the keys, then on top of the piano. Now he uses his dad as a bench.

Seems that we need to keep him safe by taking him out of the house, so today, we tried yet another park. This one has a pool, which we'll go back to as soon as I get a suit.

So we decided to rearrange some furniture . . .

2008-05-10T09:14:00.004-07:00

Before

After

What inspired this sudden burst of interior design genius?

Elton John or Charles Nelson Riley?

2008-05-08T12:18:00.002-07:00

Alexander borrowed some shades this past weekend. We think they suit him.

Emergency room, parks, climbing

2008-04-24T20:02:00.003-07:00

I just finished two books on Wednesday, marking the end of a months-long work marathon, so as usual, here's a catchup blog on all the Mallon craziness.

The weekend our stove caught on fire, Darrick had to go to the emergency room. He stabbed himself in the hand with a steak knife, trying to pry granola from the pan. We spent the entire day at the emergency room, but Alexander was awesome. He hung out in my lap for a while, cruised the waiting room, played with the water fountain, showed us his amazing powers by opening and closing the automatic door, and then spent some time trying to unlock a door with a pretzel stick.

Darrick's stitches are out, and his hand is fine, but now we have to be very watchful to avoid another trip to the emergency room, as you can see from the photos and video below:

Last Sunday, we met for lunch at Reid Park with the Fawcetts and the Beaudry Brockschmidts. Alexander particularly enjoyed the rose garden. We couldn't find his hat, so he's wearing one of Darrick's (sometimes).

We've also had other park adventures, but I'll save that for another blog.

Fire

2008-04-12T10:39:00.003-07:00

Went to turn off the oven last night, and the knob starting sparking like crazy, then caught on fire. Darrick put the fire out, but it kept restarting until he managed to pull the stove out and unplug it. The fumes were horrible, but the house is aired out now, and we were able to keep the air in Alexander's room clear.

Fortunately, we didn't have to use the fire extinguisher. That would have been an annoying mess.

Darrick is perversely excited because now he can get a gas stove, which apparently is much, much better for cooking. We have hookups for gas and electric. Until we can fit this in the budget, however, we will be getting very creative with our microwave.

Sorry, no Alexander stories or photos because I have to get back to work (what with a fire interrupting my worktime yesterday). See the latest photos on www.flickr/photos/mallons. I'll blog about our park adventures and all the crazy people we meet as well as the other kids as soon as I can.

Parks!

2008-03-08T20:36:00.006-07:00

A quick blog mid-work marathon. Darrick has been taking Alexander on outdoor adventures on the weekends while I get caught up on work. Last Saturday and this Saturday, he went to Sabino Canyon with Case and Case's daughter Gia.

Last Sunday, Alexander and Darrick went to Lakeside Park.

And in the mornings during the week, Alex and I have been going to play at a local park, although getting photos of anything but his moving back has been difficult!

Here's a quick video of him kicking the ball, falling over, then realizing it's kind of cool down there, looking up at that big sky.

Then, of course, he calculated the number of park visits on his abacus:

More photos, as always, on our flickr site.

Grandpas and Grandmas

2008-03-01T20:25:00.003-07:00

Grandpa Ed and Grandma Betty visited in February, making Alexander the King of Elmoland.

Grandpa Scott and Grandma Mary also visited in February, and there was much dancing and rejoicing.

Alexander calculated the number of 2008 grandparent visits on his abacus.

Christmas birthday Nana visit tooth brushing spaghetti eating extravaganza super blog

2008-02-05T11:19:00.000-07:00

OK, so we've had a string of illnesses, sprained back, work, blah, blah, blah, so here's your photo blog for December/January.

Lots of goodies for Christmas, opened over the course of several days. On Christmas day itself, he got the gift that keeps on giving: viral diarrhea (picture not shown).

In January, after our viral houseguests left, he had his first spaghetti dinner:

Then his nana visited for his first birthday, spoiling him rotten yet again.

He enjoyed cake for the first time along with his very first glass of milk, which he chugged. He chose the frosting color (red food coloring = pink frosting), gender stereotypes be damned.

And he's been brushing his teeth and generally growing into more of a boy than a baby, right before our very eyes, although his growth is slowing. At his 12-month checkup, he'd gained only 7 ounces since his 9-month visit, and two inches. So his superhuman growth has slowed, to be replaced with speed (running everywhere), the power of invisibility, and mesmerism. His stare makes people uncomfortable, perhaps because they fear he can see right through them. Don't worry, he's merely brainwashing you into sending him more cake and toys. He doesn't know where you hid the body, although we are starting to suspect he has mob connections.

Walking and Talking

2007-12-20T17:21:00.000-07:00

For a few weeks, he's been walking a few steps in between things. Then last week, after we rearranged to set up a larger play area for him, he started doing this. Just needed the space, I guess!

And he's been enjoying a new phone from Nana and Papa. Sorry the video is dark. We had him open the present at night. We have photos too, but still have to take the red out before uploading them. (Mom and Tom, we have several videos of him actually "opening" the gift, which took forever and would bore everyone, but I'll send them if you want to see them. He still plays with the wrapping paper.)

Needless to say, our toy long-distance bill has skyrocketed.

And finally, a bit of fun with the curtain in his new play area:

OK, back to work with me.

Time Travel

2007-12-14T20:21:00.000-07:00

Come back in time with us to the weekend after Thanksgiving, when Darrick's mom visited on her way back from Mexico. She brought kisses and a super cool cowboy vest for Alexander. It's still a little long but not, ahem, too wide.

Before Grammy arrived, Alexander watched for her car for a while.

Then he got bored, so he killed time with a little dancing, staging a fight between his giraffe and the alien star clown, then chewing on the camera case, after getting bored with his own toys.

Finally, he decided to drive out to find her, in case she got lost.

After she left, he just hung out, single-handedly reviving the one-strap overall fad of the 80s.

A-a-choo!

2007-12-01T08:36:00.000-07:00

Adventures in Brokaw Land

2007-11-30T20:41:00.000-07:00

We're a little behind on the blogging because all three of us have been sick. So here's our blog from two weeks ago.

The weekend before Thanksgiving, we spent a day over at the Brokaws, just hanging out.

Alexander learned how to drive, thanks to Ben.

And Lauren let him play with her toys while she chilled on the floor.

We had Shelly's homemade fudge and some other food that wasn't fudge.

Donkey Boy King of the Tupperware Party

2007-11-09T20:15:00.000-07:00

2007-10-31T20:43:00.000-07:00

Alexander couldn't decide what to be for Halloween. The strap on his mummy mask broke.

So he thought maybe he'd be a spooky ghost. Eating diced green beans. In Hawaii. Alo-o-o-oha, woooooo!

The pumpkin mask never quite did it for him.

And the skeleton mask was a good one, but it didn't quite match his physique.

By the time he tried being the statue of liberty, he wasn't feeling too patriotic.

So I thought he might like a mustache to match mine. (I phoned it in this year: bearded lady. Darrick didn't even pick up the phone with his luau outfit.) Alexander was so upset by the Groucho glasses, he broke them. I guess we shouldn't have pushed so far with the costumes.

Finally, though, he did decide: He wanted his dad's costume. To chew on, anyway.

When Babies Attack

2007-10-26T20:53:00.000-07:00

Quick Blog

2007-10-25T09:21:00.000-07:00

He's got 9 teeth at last count (and they are getting difficult to count these days). He still likes to use them to bite us affectionately. And he enjoys experimenting with the different sounds he can make now that he has more teeth. One of his favorites is a velociraptor-like sound. We're still sorting our videos, so we'll post some talkies soon.

He's been walking around holding onto things like he thinks he's people. And sometimes he crawls under his exersaucer for some me time.

Or he just chills out, you know, just being casual.

More posts soon. Gotta get back to work. As you hold your breath waiting for the next installment, check out our blog translated into gangsta rap. Courtesy of Gizoogle.com. Note that the translation has some language that you'd expect from a rap translation, but in this context, even that's funny.

Update on the boy

2007-09-29T21:37:00.000-07:00

We've been working a lot, and it's just going to get worse before it gets better, so here's a quick catch-up blog.

Alexander is crawling, although he still mixes it up, crawling forward a bit, then collapsing on his stomach and inching forward, then rolling, then crawling some more. While I was sitting on the floor with my back to the couch, he scaled me and got onto the couch without my help. He's got six teeth, maybe more by now. They're popping up so fast, and he likes to gnash them together in the most disturbing ways. He's also giving kisses, big, wet open mouth on our cheeks, sometimes ramming his teeth into our flesh.

Here's some videos of him pulling himself up on the coffee table and laughing it up with his dad.

Alexander has friends over

2007-09-16T14:34:00.000-07:00

Brooke and Foster came over to play today, and Alexander had a great time! He's such a ladies' man. He's got four teeth now, two on top and two on the bottom, and he's really working them, chewing his lip, as you can see in these photos.

Earlier in the week, we finally let him get closer to the pets.

He even managed to grab Gonzo's tongue with his ninja-like reflexes.

Then we went through a pack of baby wipes.

Single baby seeks romance, possible long-term nap

2007-09-11T15:59:00.000-07:00

Single male, still living at home, looking for someone to drool over. If you're 12 months or younger, like long crawls on the floor, midday naps, and staring at your hands, I just may be the guy you've been looking for, baby.*

Check out this six pack.

Give me a call, shorty, and we'll hang in my crib.

* Must be willing to accept public flatulence.

Scooting, snorting, squealing

2007-09-02T09:18:00.000-07:00

Here are some random movies of Alexander Cappy Scooter Pig Boy Mallon. He's been scooting himself around, getting up on his hands and knees but not quite getting how to crawl yet. Between the scooting and rolling, he manages to get where he wants to go, and at an alarming rate sometimes.

He's also big on snorting lately.

He's generally more interested in furniture than toys: his hamper, the changing table, his diaper pail (hence the abrupt end to the last film). He's also a bit of a squealer, which means, of course, that he has no future in the baby mafia.

In yo face, Mama

2007-08-17T20:42:00.000-07:00

Usually, the moment I bring out the camera, he freezes and goes silent. Not tonight.

Sorry the video's so dark (as usual).

Grandparents exersaucer first tooth peas mama devil baby

2007-08-06T21:00:00.000-07:00

What a week. Nana and Papa spoiled their grandson rotten with good times . . .

and an exersaucer that holds every toy ever created:

Alexander's first tooth broke skin, and a second one appeared today, not far behind the first. He's been using his choppers on peas, which he tolerates but doesn't love:

He much prefers his thumb, and frankly, I don't blame him. Peas are gross.

He's been saying "mama" like crazy. He doesn't know what it means, I'm sure, but he has learned to say it repeatedly in the mornings when he wants out of his crib and when he's hungry. We'll get video when we have a chance. He also plays with his "n" sounds, delighting my mom with some "nana" rambling while she was here.

And he showed his devilish side last week, which he gets from his dad, of course. He does not, however, take after his dad in head size.

2007-07-16T14:42:00.000-07:00

Darrick's mom visited over the past few days, leaving this morning. She'd just had some major dental work done, so she was in a lot of pain, but she was a trooper during the visit, and Alexander was thrilled to have someone to share his baby food with.

And finally, after several months, we finished Alexander's room. Long ago (last year), Case helped Darrick put up the wallpaper and mural:

And during my mom's visit before Alexander was born, she created slipcovers for our glider.

Mom and Tom also provided several other elements in the room: tiki mask, beautiful armoire, Hawaii postcards, wall outfit (doesn't the wall look handsome?), bunny picture frame, mobile, and other stuff I know I'm forgetting because there is so much, not to mention all the books, toys, and animals about the room that Alex received from friends and other family members--thanks everybody! If you click on the last picture to enlarge it, you can examine the documentation from Alexander's travels.

So without further ado, Alexander's room:

Roll over, Beethoven

2007-07-11T11:43:00.000-07:00

On Monday morning, I go to get him up and he's on his hands and knees in his crib. He had rolled over himself. (Before, he'd rolled over only tummy to back, so this is the first time going the other way.) Now, since that first time on Monday, he's been doing it like crazy. He rolls onto his tummy, then onto his back, then onto his tummy. He's still too young to crawl, but he gets around by rolling and by wiggling around on his back and stomach. I didn't think to have a camera that first morning, of course, but I took this another time when he'd rolled over in the crib.

(As always, more photos are posted at http://www.flickr.com/photos/mallons)

Later that day, he decided to write a composition to express his feelings about the whole experience. His audience, the dogs, were a bit distracting, apparently suggesting that he play more in the lower register.

Hey!

2007-07-10T13:41:00.000-07:00

This has to count as his first word.

Drool

2007-06-24T16:11:00.000-07:00

First, our favorite two photos of the week (more at http://www.flickr.com/photos/mallons):

And then more video of him eating, for you die-hard fans (aka grandparents). Sweet potatoes this week:

Feeding Frenzy

2007-06-16T20:38:00.000-07:00

Alexander had his first taste of "solid" food today, a bit of liquidy rice cereal. It went pretty well for a first attempt.

On a roll

2007-06-07T06:53:00.000-07:00

He rolled over a couple of times yesterday for me. The first time, I caught only half the roll on film, so being the cruel mother that I am, I turned him back on his stomach. I caught a full roll on film the second time:

Now we can finally teach him to breakdance.

Hanging out with chicks, hitting the bottle, and rocking and rolling

2007-06-05T18:55:00.000-07:00

We've had a busy couple of weeks. On Memorial Day weekend, Alexander hung out with Lauren. She's a younger woman, only two months old, but she's got a sweet ride:

They're already drinking buddies:

Shelly and Baby Lauren, caught in a moment:

Lauren is lucky to have big sister Nicole to love and hug and hold her:

For some reason, we didn't get any pictures of Ben. Middle child syndrome beginning, perhaps? Hard to believe. He's a photogenic little toddler. I guess we were just too baby-eyed.

Then on the following Thursday, Alexander went in for his four-month well-baby checkup. At 19 pounds 8 ounces and 26 inches, he has slowed down his growth a bit (2 pounds a month instead of 4), but he's not exactly a dainty flower just yet. We've pulled out the 12-month clothing. Some of it is a little big, but most of it fits him well. At four months. Yep.

His doctor suspects that Alexander is teething, and he suggested we start him on solids as soon as he seems ready to give it a shot. So we'll be picking up a high chair soon.

And yesterday (Monday), he rolled over from front to back! Darrick was with him both times. I have yet to witness it, although I spent the day today with camera in hand. The second time Alex did it, Darrick tried to get a movie, but the camera was still set on camera, so he captured him mid-roll:

Homallogrue!

2007-05-28T16:09:00.000-07:00

The weekend before this past one, we took Alexander on his longest car ride ever up to Apache Junction to see his nana again and to meet some Homans and Grue family members: Papa Tom, Great-Aunt Linda and Great-Uncle Ronnie, and his cousins (second? once removed? double twice removed with a twist of lime?) Tom and Em and little Brenna, who is about four months older than Alexander and talking a blue streak in between eating delicious bananas. Mmmmm. In spite of the difference in age, they are about the same size, and they have in common a complete lack of interest in each other, as you can see here:

Actually, that's not entirely true. At one very sweet moment, Brenna reached out to Alexander, but he did not respond at all. He was a bit of a zombie baby all day. I think our little guy was more than a little overwhelmed by the car ride, new place, and all the people, without much of his usual routine that day. When we got home that night, he was wired. We could not get him to sleep. We finally just hung out with him on the floor of his room while he squealed and laughed and shoved himself across the floor by pushing against our hands with his feet. He finally wore himself out after about an hour or two of this.

We had a great time catching up with everybody and seeing how much Brenna has grown. All babies are different, of course, but it's cool to see generally what is in store for us in the months ahead. Of course, at the rate he's growing, by the time Alexander is Brenna's age, he'll be eating solids with the spoon from the Minneapolis sculpture garden, sitting in a giant high chair that we will hover around in a helicopter full of rice cereal.

A high point for Alex clearly was seeing his nana again. He had so much to tell her.

And then we all coincidentally were standing and sitting for these candid shots. What are the odds?

For the Homans take on this trip (including an introduction to the Darrick mystery--yes, I admit it, I Photoshopped him into our pictures), see http://tebottebot.blogspot.com/2007/05/wheres-darrick-last-time-we-met-darrick.html

More photos from this trip along with other Mallon photos are at http://www.flickr.com/photos/mallons/

A night on the town

2007-05-02T21:27:00.000-07:00

At three months, Alexander has started wearing his 6 to 9 months clothes. We weighed him informally at home a week or so ago, and he weighed about 19 pounds. He's probably over 20 now. He's at least 25 inches long. He wasn't stretched out completely when we measured him.

We decided it was finally time to take him out on the town. It caused quite a stir.

Twins, batting, cage, looking up

2007-04-19T11:09:00.000-07:00

And the password is . . . not baseball. These words all describe the past couple of weeks in Mallon Country. Alexander and I visited Tracy and her twins, Bronson and Brad, last Saturday. Brooke, Sean, and Foster also visited. We had a great time, especially being entertained by Brad and Bronson, two very happy and (Tracy's apt word) BUSY boys.

Bronson's future as a stealth operative is secured, as evident in his ability to steal a cracker from a grown man. Brad's escape artist skills still need a bit more work, but he fearlessly goes where no man has gone before (where no man would fit, but that's beside the point).

More pictures (from our camera and some from Tracy's camera that I shamelessly swiped and posted) are on our photo site: www.flickr.com/photos/mallons. We also posted several photos of Alexander just hanging out, sleeping, getting his regular bath from his dad, and other miscellany.

I started back to work a couple of weeks ago, and I committed to two manuscripts, not realizing just how difficult it would be to carve out the time to work on them. This is in part because Alexander is not really going for that whole nap-in-the-crib business. In his crib, his swing, his bouncer, he might nod off for 20 or 30 minutes, but generally, he prefers to giggle and talk to the various mobiles, soothers, and any other singing and moving pieces attached to these contraptions. The only place he still reliably naps is in his carrier, and even there, sometimes we have to walk around for most of his nap because he wakes up when we sit. I'm afraid we may have gotten him too used to sleeping in the carrier or in our arms.

This is more than offset, however, by his sleeping at night. About a week and a half ago, I was thrilled to wake up after 7 hours of straight sleep. He did this the next night, and then the night after that, the little guy slept for 12 hours. Well, that's not entirely true. He slept for about 10 1/2. I could hear him in his crib at 6 am, talking it up with the creatures on his soother, his mobile, and perhaps with his buddy the ceiling lamp, even though it wasn't on. So I just kept sleeping for another hour. He still sounded happy, so I grabbed some breakfast then finally went in to feed him at 7:30, even though he still wasn't fussing just yet.

The next couple of nights, he started sleeping less and less, and I thought this had all been a fluke, but he has since been relatively steady, sleeping from about 7:30 to 6:00, give or take a half hour on either end. With this kind of luck at night, I can't really complain if he's not a regular napper, although it's still early. He could revert at any point, so I'll just enjoy it while it lasts.

Anyway, since he won't nap during the day, I've decided to put him to work proofreading my editing. He's still struggling with coordinate versus cumulative adjectives, but he's definitely making progress.

Today's videos show some more steady head-holding action and a bit of toy batting. I don't think he's deliberately going for cause and effect just yet, as we make it seem (that is, I don't know that he intends specifically to hit the bird so the music and light go, or to hit the butterfly so it will rattle), but he does seem to be trying deliberately to hit in general, if only to make something happen. He's gradually gaining a bit more control of his hands, beyond his heretofore depicted thumb-sucking prowess. And the last movie is, of course, the gratuitous talking and laughing video. He loves talking and singing with his changing table mobile. In fact, he's almost freakishly delighted by it at times.

Thumb sucking, head lifting, and the incredible shrinking blanket

2007-04-03T20:15:00.000-07:00

Alexander had his well-baby checkup today. After stripping him down for him to be weighed and measured, we pulled out the blanket we'd packed to wrap him in before taking him to the exam room.

The blanket was too small. Much, much too small. It looked like we were trying to swaddle him in a napkin.

Needless to say, Alex has grown some more. He weighed in at 15 pounds, 6 ounces. He's 23.5 inches long. His doctor is still very happy because Alexander's size is proportional and he's healthy, although he did suggest the baby cut back on the fries. All that saturated fat isn't good for his figure.

He had his shots today, two in one leg and one in the other, as well as an oral immunization. He screamed bloody murder ("It was the nurse in the vaccination room with the hypodermic needle"), then he was pretty calm after they were done, falling asleep on our way out to the car. He fussed a little in the car on the way home, but that was because he was hungry.

Imagine that. Our giant baby, hungry.

He's been holding his head up a lot lately, keeping it steady for quite a while.

You might notice in this photo that Darrick's sweater is inside out. He does this so that he can turn it right side out after Alex spits up on him.

Alexander has also discovered his thumb. Sorry about the lack of light in this video. I'm posting it despite the horrendous quality because he's just going to town on that thumb. Had to share.

Older than the sour cream at the back of the fridge

2007-03-31T19:36:00.000-07:00

That's right, Alexander turned two months old this past week. He is gradually outpacing the contents of our fridge in age. We celebrated by gathering his toys and animals together, creating a little corner kingdom, and playing like crazy.

Last Sunday, we visited with Dad and Betty before they left for home on Monday. Betty cooked a delicious meal, then Alexander showed off his strong neck for his grandpa. Then we hung out on the patio, with Alexander in his new little red stroller (which we had to buy when we discovered the big Jeep stroller we got didn't fit in our trunk!).

He's been smiling and laughing a lot more lately:

Here, he practices his drooling smile (drile? smool?):

On Thursday, I double-checked the weight limit on the Pack and Play bassinet Alexander has been sleeping in in our room: 15 pounds. I weighed myself, then weighed again while holding him. Granted, our scale is inaccurate, and this method is imperfect, but he appeared to weigh at least 15 pounds. So that afternoon, we quickly finished getting his room set up and he slept for the first time in his crib that night. He even slept on about the same schedule he's been used to in our room, apparently unfazed by the change in sleeping quarters. So now we just have to finish some of the decorative touches and the room will be done. We'll post photos when we finish. I'm just so relieved that he slept so well and didn't get scared in the new crib and new room.

We posted some new photos on flickr http://www.flickr.com/photos/mallons/ and took some videos with the camera. We had about 225 photos and videos to go through (digital cameras make it way too easy to go overboard), but we managed to be selective about what we posted. We're really trying hard not to post several photos that are only slightly different, but it's difficult! We failed at this task with the videos, which are all more or less of the same thing: Alexander babbling and giggling.

In the first one, he's helping me put together a mix of songs that all have the word "baby" in them.

In the last three, he appears to be transfixed by the ceiling light. He looks past the Gymini toys and the stuffed animals I'm holding up. There's nothing else above him but the light fixture. He's so fascinated by lamps and windows, we'll have to take him to a lamp store and watch him go nuts.

March Movie Madness

2007-03-19T09:20:00.000-07:00

Some live action Alexander on (where else?) his Gymini. Don't worry, each clip is only 30 seconds long (the maximum on our camera).

First, he lives up to his reputation as a monkey bully:

Then he discusses the high price of gas:

And we chat for a while on the distinction Einstein intended to make between his theories of special relativity and general relativity:

And finally, Alexander and his dorkwad mom add a verse to the classic "If You're Happy and You Know It":

This week in baby

2007-03-09T11:06:00.000-07:00

Quite a week we've had here at Mallon Baby Central. Eric, Jené, Charlotte, and Andrew visited last weekend. They stayed with my dad and Betty in the house they are renting in Sahuarita, just south of Tucson by about a half-hour. So we took Alexander on his longest car ride yet to visit them all there for some grilling (food, not interrogation) and catching up.

It was great to see them, and our first time meeting Andrew. He and Charlotte have their dad's big eyes and their mom's beautiful warm eye color. Charlotte is talking and imaginative. No need for toys--give that girl a fork and spoon! Andrew is toddling around with amazing confidence. He is teething, the poor guy, but he is still a clearly happy baby, quick to laugh and play. Photos are at our photo site, as always. You need to be invited as a family member or friend to see them because we have the privacy setting on for all the photos of Charlotte and Andrew. If you need an invitation (and are family), please email us at darrickandmelanie@gmail.com. We'll send one right away. Even being busy with our new little fella, we can do this pretty quickly. Once you respond to the invitation, you don't have to do so again to see all the photos.

Here's a shot of Alexander being entertained by his uncle Eric:

On Tuesday, Alexander had a visit with his doctor. At 5 weeks, he weighed 11 pounds, 4 ounces, and measured 23 inches (Alexander did, not his doctor). Yes, our guy has gained more than 3 pounds since birth. The pediatrician was very happy about this and basically told us to keep up the good work. Alex is quickly moving into the 3 to 6-month clothing already, which is kind of a relief because he can start sharing his dad's clothing by the end of the year. That will save us some money.

Alexander is in good health overall. He has cradle cap and sensitive skin (red marks at the slightest touch of certain fabrics), but these aren't causing him any obvious discomfort. We can use vaseline or cream or ointments if the dry skin gets really bad (peeling off his cheeks, for example), but otherwise, there's no need because the problem is merely cosmetic. And we learned something interesting: Avoid lotions because they often contain alcohol, so the relief is temporary and the lotion actually dries out the skin even more. Our pediatrician was talking about baby lotion, but I wonder if this applies to adult face and body lotions as well. Interesting, anyway, especially to me because I'm the source for Alexander's sensitive skin. Obviously, eh? It ruined my future as a pirate, but perhaps with the right combination of hats and sunscreen, our little Cappy will have more freedom if he chooses a career in the great outdoors. Perhaps he too will strive for a high-level position in the sea-pirating industries. A mom can only dream.

And as if all this isn't enough excitement for one week, I had a doctor's appointment this week, too, and it was my first time out with Alexander without his daddy along to help. We actually made it through the many obstacles: past the car seat octopus, safely along Mad Hick Retiree Trail to the office, through the stroller obstacle course--beginning with the timed challenge of getting all the straps adjusted and clicked in properly and followed with a dash across the Parking Lot of the Sun--into the waiting room, where we lost a turn and had to wait a half-hour, then into the Examination Room Labryinth, which Alexander braved with aplomb while the nurse got all her measurements of me. By now, Alex was hungry, so fortunately, we lost another turn and had some time for a snack before the doctor showed up. The rest of the adventure was easy, with an Advance Immediately to Home Card that made the stroller and car rides a breeze. I now feel far more confident about taking him out again on my own. That's a relief because I hate going to the bar every day and worrying about getting home to feed him. Now I can just take him with. If I can fake his passport, I should be able to fake an ID, eh?

Early signs of delinquency

2007-02-27T12:53:00.000-07:00

So we've commented on Alexander being a relatively unfussy baby, and this is still true. He cries when he's hungry, and he cries when we change his diaper (he apparently does not like having his junk exposed). He may fuss a little when he's tired, and he puts up a real stink when his dad tries to make him do yardwork (well, someone's got to do it, right? and who better to pull weeds than the person closest to the ground?). But otherwise, he has a pretty even temperament.

We're starting to wonder, however, if his calm, quiet exterior doesn't mask the beginnings of a problem. Is our son a budding juvenile delinquent? Let's examine the evidence:

Exhibit A: As you can see in this photo, he's clearly been drinking. Now, I know what you're thinking: If he's drunk, then obviously his mother has been drinking. (Or you're thinking, alcoholism and its effects on babies is no laughing matter, in which case, you should probably stop reading this blog now, walk away, and never look back. It will only get worse, I promise you.) But his inebriation can't be entirely traced to the Jello shots I had at the Mommy Talk and Tea. Otherwise, how do you explain the flask he had tucked in the back of his diaper? Come to think of it, maybe that's why he doesn't like having his diaper changed. Mommy and Daddy will find his stash.

Exhibits B and C:
As these photos illustrate, our son is picking fights. Is this related to his alcohol consumption? Perhaps he started drinking out of frustration because the baby in the mirror kept threatening him but wouldn't deliver, or maybe he's drowning his sorrows after punching himself in the face. (Who are we to judge the pain of having undeveloped motor skills? On the positive side, we don't have to worry about him shoplifting--yet.)

And finally, may we draw your attention to Exhibit D:

Just look at those dilated pupils. And the way he stares at the elephant on his Gymini, well, clearly the makers of that infant product should have opted for "Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds" instead of nursery rhymes and Mozart. We don't think we need to spell this out for you. (And if we do, please see the aforementioned warning about reading this blog, walking away, ya da ya da ya da.)

So what do we do? Do we wait to see if this is just a phase he'll grow out of? Or do we take action now? He just got his social security card in the mail the other day, and the first thing Darrick said was "Good, now he can finally get a job." I just laughed it off, but now my laughter echoes chillingly in my ears. Maybe a job is just what he needs to prevent his descent down the slippery slope of addiction and moral turpitude. Perhaps, after changing his diaper (he's such a good pooper!) and some tummy time, we'll get to work on his resumé.

Cappy's First Adventures

2007-02-23T12:38:00.000-07:00

These first few weeks with Alexander have been a wonderful blur of cuddling, feeding, changing, bathing, playing, and visiting with family. No, I did not include sleeping in that list. This will surprise few of you. Right now, Alex is asleep in a baby carrier (Thanks, Jené!), which means I have my hands free for the moment. I've been better at keeping up with our photo site (www.flickr/photos/mallons) because that's pretty much a one-handed task.

I do not know how long the current nap will last, so I'll try to speed blog to get you all up to date from the beginning, starting with Cappy's first journey from womb to home, with a brief layover in the newborn intensive care unit.

Here goes: I went into labor on Sunday night, January 28, and had the baby on Monday night, January 29. The labor itself was long but uninteresting. Right after his birth (or perhaps during the final part of it), the room was suddenly packed with people--doctors, nurses, technicians, who knows who else. They let me hold him for a very short time before they had to whisk him over to the heating table because of problems: fluid in his lungs, possible amniotic fluid infection, and what they determined later to be pneumothorax, which means that air sacs burst in his lungs, releasing air outside the lungs, which pushed in, collapsing parts of each lung. They don't know for sure what causes this, but Alexander's pediatrician says it is common among full-term babies, who are developed enough to do some damage to their lungs if they try to let out a big cry a little too soon.

Darrick was with him, talking to him and touching him as much as possible while Alexander was on the heating table. He even got a little alone time with Alex before the baby was brought to me for a quick cuddle, then whisked off to the newborn intensive care unit.

Alexander was in an oxygen tent for a day and a half, which was really difficult for us because we couldn't hold him, and his little mouth would root, but I couldn't feed him. They were feeding him through an IV in his cord stump. Fortunately, the supplemental oxygen worked, so by the next day, they were giving him less and less.

Once he was out of the tent and getting oxygen through tubes in his nose, we were able to hold him and I was able to feed him, but this was very difficult because he was still hooked up to all sorts of monitors and we were constantly trying not to let the tubes and wires get caught on anything or get weighed down and pull on him. At least one (if not both) of the tubes going into his cord stump were feeding directly into an artery. But, we were still overjoyed to be able to hold him, and I was thrilled that he took to feeding right away, even though I just had the colostrum at this point.

Later that same day, they took out the respiratory tubes and he was completely off the oxygen, but he still had to stay in the NICU for five days for monitoring while he had a full course of antibiotics for the possible amniotic fluid infection. During this time, we spent as much time as possible with him. They let me room in with him for a couple of nights, sleeping on a cot in a tiny, brightly lit side room within the ward, his little crib by my side. By this time, the cord IVs had been removed. He just had a scalp IV in for the periodic administration of antibiotics. It looked strange and sad, but it was far more comfortable for him than any other IV because the head has so few nerves.

All the other wires monitoring his heart rate, respiration, etc., were still attached, and these would set off loud beeping alarms pretty much whenever he moved. They were constantly going off, all day and all night. I got used to resetting the equipment when it was clear that the cords had simply gotten tangled or pulled out slightly or moved a sixteenth of an inch to the right or left. It didn't help that he's a kicker, so even as he slept, the beeping would begin whenever he kicked out (or even dreamed of kicking).

We still, to this day, appreciate being able to hold him without worrying about cords and wires getting in the way, although I have to admit that I kind of miss being able to look up from my bed at the monitor that showed his respiration rate. Any of you who have been paranoid new parents, especially in this age of abundant SIDS warnings, understand exactly why that was reassuring.

Most of the nurses were great, although a few were completely bonkers. Not just a little off, but totally loony. Maybe we'll blog more about that later (although I doubt it--who wants to dwell on crazy when there's so much beautiful baby blogging to do?). One difficult part of having him in NICU was that each nurse had a different style, so he was in a sense partly parented by people with different approaches, and nurses, being busy, took approaches to soothing him that they had to by necessity, approaches we wouldn't have chosen and wouldn't have had to choose because we have only him to care for (although on the other hand, we also got a great deal of terrific advice from many of the nurses).

I worried about how easily Alexander would settle in at home after spending the first five days of his life in NICU. Would we have to create some sort of bizarre mobile with fluorescent lights, flashing monitors, and Brahms lullaby composed of carefully edited crying babies? On those fussy evenings, would we have to beep in his ear to get him to sleep? But I shouldn't have worried. He is an adaptable little guy. In fact, he's remarkably unfussy overall. The worst "problem" we've had is my lack of sleep because of how frequently he feeds (and even that is starting to get better).

Now that he's home, he's doing just great. He gained 5 ounces his first week, which thrilled his pediatrician (most babies lose weight the first week). He's a member of the frequent feeder program, eating a lot and often, so I suppose after a certain number of feedings, we'll get a free Visa, right?

We've received lots of very thoughtful gifts and cards from generous people, and some family has stopped by to meet Alexander:

Mom, aka Nana, was here for three weeks, helping out immensely and generously both before and after Alex came along. We'll showcase some of her wonderful contributions when we post pictures of the nursery, which we haven't finished yet (what with the need to eat, sleep, and shower as well as care for a new baby).

Dad and Betty, aka Grandpa and Grandma Bearse, are here for two months, stopping by to visit with Alexander and even managing to catch him awake a few times.

My sister, Christine, was here for about five days, cuddling her new nephew, helping out, and sharing with us the episode of The Office we missed at the beginning of the season. It was painfully glorious, as The Office tends to be.

Darrick's dad and stepmom, Grandpa Mallon and Grandma Mary, stopped by for a couple of days to meet their first grandson (and to get suckered into helping us with a little plumbing problem).

For those of you who haven't been able to visit (or who are kindly waiting until we have fewer visitors and more sleep before stopping by) as well as for those of you who have met the boy, we'll try to keep you updated on his progress with this blog and the photo site, so check back when you have a chance. We had some catching up to do, so this post is unusually long--and took several days to finish. The nap I mention at the beginning of the post was ages ago and is now of interest only to historians and anthropologists. Future posts will be much, much shorter, especially during these first few months.

The Mallon Blog: Now Even More Mallony!

2007-02-06T13:29:00.000-07:00

That's right, we've improved the Mallon line with the addition of Alexander Sean, born January 29, 2007, at 11:19 p.m. We're too busy enjoying our son to blog, so we're going to post some of our favorite pictures for now (more at http://www.flickr.com/photos/mallons). We'll blog about the experience and our new little guy another time.

Catching up

2006-12-28T19:06:00.000-07:00

Yes, we're finally catching up on the blog. Been busy with important responsibilities: picking individual hairs out of our brushes and combs and tying the ends together; attempting to move each individual toe without moving the other toes; arranging the towels in the linen closet according to size, then changing our minds and rearranging them according to color, then realizing size really was the best way to go.

So maybe next time you'll remember how much we have going on in our lives before complaining about how infrequently we post something on our blog.

Anyway, we got to see cousin Tom, Emily, Brenna, Aunt Linda, and Uncle Ronnie again this past weekend. They drove down to Tucson to have lunch with us, braving quite a drive with little Brenna. We, of course, forgot our camera, so we'll just point you to the photo Tom took and posted on their blog, http://tebottebot.blogspot.com/2006/12/big-day-for-brenna-today-three-of-us.html.

The Brokaws kindly fed us dinner on Christmas night, and Darrick got to play with trains.

Months ago, Christine sent me this little surprise in the mail (sorry to take so long to mention this gem--Darrick and I both laughed and laughed):

Of course, it could mean that I'm welcoming you to Italian 101, but most of you know that I wear it in case people don't realize I'm pregnant by looking at me. You can't really tell, can you?

To recap:

13 weeks

34 weeks

We've also been to a few childbirth education classes, which we might write about in a future post, when we have more time. Until then, imagine yourself having a slumber party on the floor of your doctor's waiting room, watch Rosemary's Baby, breathe like you just climbed several flights of stairs, and you'll get the gist.

Visiting Brenna, Emily, and Tom

2006-10-27T22:14:00.000-07:00

We visited Tom and Emily last weekend and got to meet their new little girl, Brenna, the little peanut. When we arrived, she was sleeping, so Darrick took this picture without the flash (didn't want to wake her).

Mom and Tom were there, and Uncle Ronnie and Aunt Linda, although you wouldn't know it from the photos. Darrick focused exclusively on Brenna in every shot. Sorry, everybody. We did notice you were there. Honest. Here's one of the few where Darrick came out from behind the camera. As usual, more photos are at http://www.flickr.com/photos/mallons.

Darrick's portrait of our son

2006-10-27T21:56:00.000-07:00

Darrick's portrait of Cappy

This piece was done by the artist in ink on organic canvas. On display at the Melanie Mallon Moving Gallery in Tucson, Arizona.

Baby's first photo shoot

2006-09-13T12:40:00.000-07:00

We went in for an ultrasound yesterday. What an incredible experience to see him, his arms, legs, profile, top of his head, beating heart, spine, rib cage, kidneys--the detail was awesome! He was extremely active and stubborn. The technician exclaimed that she couldn't get him to move to the right position for the necessary measurements, yet that was not because he wasn't moving. He was tooling around the womb constantly. She said that most babies are not nearly this active. Of course, this explains why it is always difficult for our doctor to get a fix on the heartbeat for a long enough time to check it against her watch.

Anyway, the baby is healthy and about a week ahead in development, although she said that doesn't change the due date. So I guess we really are having a giant. At least we'll get a goose that lays golden eggs out of the deal, right?

And as anyone can tell from the last photo below, we are having a boy. We've added some labels to help you all out. We couldn't tell at all from looking at it. She had to explain several times what was what. Like those inkblot tests or seeing patterns in a cloud. Sure, now we can see that it's a boy. Or a unicorn.

We are of course thrilled that he looks healthy and normal in the ultrasound, and we are relieved finally to be done with all that pronoun awkwardness. On top of it all, we finally found those car keys we lost last June. Who would have thought?

(Click on an image to link to a larger version of the image if these are too small to see clearly.)

Kitchen's done, finally

2006-09-08T18:17:00.000-07:00

So, we're finally done (pretty much) with our kitchen remodeling. Took a week of major overhaul, plus the last few weeks of tweaking. We still have a few miscellaneous tasks to complete, and I was waiting to post until we had EVERYTHING done, but that would take forever, so here are some of the before and after photos. See the entire renovation in progress (some 70 photos), if you really don't have anything better to do, by clicking here.

BEFORE: South side of kitchen

BEFORE: south side, upper cabinets

AFTER: South si-eed

BEFORE: Metal cabinets in all their glory (north side)

AFTER: North side

AFTER: Eating area (west side)

Either I'm pregnant or I swallowed a motorcycle helmet

2006-08-04T11:15:00.000-07:00

Or both, I suppose. Can't start teaching the importance of safety too soon, eh?

13 weeks!

I'm showing a lot more than I expected to at this point, although I'm sure as the months go on, Darrick and I will look back at this and laugh, because I will be gigantenormohuge, and this will look like minor bloating in comparison. At the rate I'm going, by the end of the second trimester, I should be able to set my tummy with four place settings for dinner. I'll have to drive from the backseat. By the end of the third, foliage will wither and die in my shadow. I may need to incorporate my belly as a city. Nations will ask me to stop blocking the view of their satellites (or will attempt to hire me for the same reason).

I'll suddenly be stricken with an obviously uncharacteristic tendency to exaggerate and a compulsive need to tell bad belly jokes. Did you hear the one about my belly, the priest, and the rabbi on a deserted island . . . ?

It's got a beat, but you can't dance to it.

2006-08-02T14:45:00.000-07:00

Well, you can--if you're some kind of spaz.

We heard the heartbeat this morning at our doctor visit, and it's crazy fast, only further confirming our suspicion that we are spawning a future superhero, apparently with the faster-than-lightning superpower package (complete with superhuman running capabilities as well as sleight-of-hand, speed-reading, and auctioneering skills). Have a listen for yourself here.

The doctor used a device that looked suspiciously like an old transistor radio jury-rigged to a Fisher Price microphone painted a glossy black. Perhaps the other doctors got to the supply cabinet first this morning. At least there was no visible duct tape. It was all very bizarre, like listening for messages from outer space, our own little SETI project.

I am at the tail end of my 13th week, the last of the first trimester. I'm already showing a little tummy, a bit early for a first-time pregnancy, or so I hear. I'll post pictures as soon as I find the cord for connecting the camera to the computer.

I'm feeling pretty good these days, after weeks of extreme fatigue. How extreme? Well, here's a little excerpt from my dishwashing routine:

Wash a plate.
Rest.
Wash another plate.
Rest.
Wash three forks.
Rest for longer because that really wiped me out.
"Accidentally" break the rest of the dishes, buy paper products, sleep for the next ten hours.

Our new dishwasher arrived yesterday.

First Prenatal Appointment, My New Powers, Cappy Gets an Honorary Doctorate

2006-06-13T08:33:00.000-07:00

OK, so we went to our first prenatal appointment yesterday, and it turned out to be part one of a two-part appointment. Because of all the information gathering (including lab tests, questionnaires, etc.) and questions women usually have, University Physicians now starts with a nursing appointment, to get all that out of the way, then helps you choose an OB and make a separate appointment. Considering Darrick and I were there for two hours yesterday, I have to say I really appreciate this setup. I can't imagine then having to go through the doctor's exam as well. And we got to talk to the nurse about all kinds of questions, dismissing the old wives' tales about cats, for example, and getting good advice about how to prepare the pets, particularly Gonzo and Tarzan, who are most likely to jump up and try to squirm onto our laps while we have the baby in hand. The solution? Start holding a doll now to get them used to it. Brilliant! Or, I should say, brilliant in theory. We don't have any dolls to practice with, so I'll have to dig a stuffed animal out of storage. Don't know whether this will work until we try it, but it seems solid.

The most bizarre development of this pregnancy so far is that after a lifetime of having the weakest sense of smell you could imagine (short of having no sense of smell), suddenly I can smell everything. And that's not always a good thing, because seriously, whoever is reading this, odds are you really stink. In the interest of using my powers for good, I am thinking about seeing if the Tucson police force could use another drug sniffer. Sure, the dogs might not accept me at first, but I don't think even the fiercest doberman will dare to mess with a moody pregnant woman.

And our latest name discussions have hit upon an obvious naming solution, boy or girl: Doctor. Is that not perfect? No savings-draining college tuition for Doctor Mallon. Plenty of Laurel and Hardy schtick at the prenatal appointments:

"How's Doctor?"
"The doctor's fine, but don't you want to know about the baby?"
"Yes, how's Doctor?"

And so forth. The classroom image is also hilarious. Picture a first-grade classroom: "Doctor Mallon?" A little hand shoots up. "Here."

In the interest of preventing confusion, however, and because Cappy still makes us giggle, we'll continue to use that name for the time being.

Cappy Sassafrass McGonnigle Mallon

2006-06-07T16:43:00.000-07:00

I feel almost silly blogging this considering everyone already knows, but we have a baby on the way! Woo hoo! We have already decided, of course, boy or girl, that the first name will be Cappy. As Darrick says, "How can a teacher not like a kid named Cappy?" It's short for "Captain, my Captain," which we like the idea of making people say. Other candidates: "Ruler of the Free World" and "How Dare I Speak in Your Presence" (Howie for short).

So the lovely picture above is from the doctor visit for confirmation. The nurse said, "Do you want to keep this?" And I said, "That's disgusting. . . . Yes." Note the biohazard specimen bag, which surely means she senses the superhero hormones of our child and wants to protect the world, which cannot yet handle such power.

We go in for our first official appointment next week.

Laszlo, Drapes, Haircut, Yawning

2006-05-24T09:29:00.000-07:00

Laszlo has been out of confinement for a while, fully recovered, it seems. Mel finished sewing the drapes for the family room, and Darrick finished putting them up. Still need to make a few more so that they bunch up nicely. Mel got a haircut.

Think this is all too far fetched to be true? Well, check out the photo documentation. (Note that most of the pictures are set to private, visible only to invited friends and family. Email us to get an invitation. We sent only a few, figuring most people wouldn't care.)

Oh, the excitement of our lives.

Sorry so brief and boring. We are both working without days off for the next few weeks to a month.

Foster's 13th birthday dinner

2006-05-09T11:49:00.000-07:00

We've posted photos from Foster's 13th birthday dinner at Blue Wasabi. We forgot our camera, unfortunately, so we're blatantly stealing some of the photos the Fawcetts took. See them at the link above, including photos of the birthday girl (not shown here). The photos are limited access to family and friends, so we'll need to invite you if you can't see them all and want to (and you are a family member or friend).

Dinner was delicious, the preparation was entertaining, and Foster was charming as usual. She doesn't miss a beat with the joking around. Many adults, when you joke around with them, will look puzzled for a minute before understanding spreads across their faces, but Foster always joins right in and shoots something back that's funnier than anything we said. Awesome kid. We can't believe we've known her through nine birthdays!

Melanie's personal blog

2006-05-08T16:24:00.000-07:00

OK, so you all are probably wondering how ninjas and fictional meth labs qualify as Mallon Family News. You might even be thinking, "Hey, if this is the kind of crap those Mallon people are going to post, well, I'm not coming back."

Fair enough. I have set up a blog for my rants and ramblings so that this blog might remain purely for news about what's happening with the Mallons. If you care to read my semi-regular personal comments, go to Plaid Lettuce, where I will post soon about something random, absurd, annoying, or whatever strikes me fancy.

I Am Ninja, He Is Ninja, She Is Ninja, Too

2006-05-02T18:44:00.000-07:00

Ask a Ninja

Especially Question 17

In the mail

2006-05-02T11:44:00.000-07:00

OK, so this is the stupidest reason to post at all, and I shouldn't even be on the blog during my workday (I pledge allegiance to the procrastination . . .), but I just got our mail and I have to ask:

How did the Consolidated Plastics Company, Inc., get my name and address, and why on earth are they sending me their catalog for laboratory supplies?

At first I thought it was a catalog for the person who owned our house before us, a college biology teacher, but no, there's my name and address in that attractive 1980s futuristic computer font that catalogs always use for addresses.

What on earth did I ever order or subscribe to that would have clued them in on, I mean, made them think erroneously that I have some kind of home laboratory? Don't they wonder when a residential name and address shows up on the mailing list? Do people actually have home laboratories? Of course some do, I'm sure, sort of the home office for splicing genes on the weekend, no doubt, but really, how many people would have a laboratory in their home that would require a catalog full of bulk supplies?

All I can think is that someone found out about my meth lab. It was supposed to be a secret, a surprise for Darrick's birthday. Oh, well. At least he'll still be surprised by all the different flavors I concocted. Strawberry Rhubarb methamphetamine is out of this world!

We joined The Cult (not a cult--THE Cult)

2006-04-30T16:24:00.000-07:00

Yes, that photo is from our camera at KFMA Day. Darrick got some excellent shots and video clips (The Cult; The Strokes). So sad that we can get only 30 seconds at a time, but how great that we got those 30-second segments at all.

Incredible shows, and our first chance to get out and do something together, now that Laszlo is doing better. Woo hoo!

Top Ten Uses for Laszlo's E Collar

2006-04-28T17:32:00.000-07:00

1. Disguise for entering the canine witness protection program
2. Funnel (minus dog head, unless said funnel is being used for liver snacks)
3. Megaphone
4. Party hat
5. Bishop or cardinal hat
6. Cheap hearing aid
7. Old-timey phonograph part replacement
8. Elizabethan theater costume (duh)
9. Lampshade
10. Vacuum attachment

Viva la Laszlo!

2006-04-19T14:06:00.000-07:00

I guess we'll open our family blog with the best news ever:

After being gone for four long days, Laszlo returned, but with serious injuries (if he hadn't already been neutered, one of the lacerations would have neutered him). We did not at first realize how serious it was because he seemed fine. The vet who performed the surgery was shocked when the x-rays came back. She said that Laszlo had the strongest constitution of any dog she has ever seen (and considering she works at the ONLY emergency pet clinic in Tucson, that does mean something). Apparently, any other dog would have clearly been suffering with the injuries he had, but he seemed almost unaffected.

He's now recovering in his circus cage in our family room, where he'll be stuck for at least another week, until his staples come out and he fully heals. In the meantime, we're enjoying the great reception we get from his cone.